Never a Dull Moment
by Braids21
Summary: [slash Blush and Sputchy] Four friends go to friday night high school football game. Hilarity and craziness ensues! R&R please!


**NEVER A DULL MOMENT**

**Disclaimer**: SLASH. Don't like it? Don't read it! I own nothing either.

**A/N: **New slash from me. Humor too! More from me after. Enjoy! :)

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"ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?" Specs sang out as he jumped out of his car. "MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!"

"Specs, SHUT UP!" Dutchy called out, as he climbed out of Specs's car, covering his ears. "You've been singing that song the whole ride! And those two lines are the only lines you know!"

"Plus, it's not Monday night either." Blink commented, exiting the same car, followed by Mush. "It's Friday Night High School Football night!"

The four friends laughed as they made their way through the mass of cars in North High School's parking lot. They were there, obviously, for the football game.

"Shut up you guys." Specs said to them. "You know how much I love football games."

"…not like you actually watch the game…" Dutchy said under his breath, but load enough for Specs to hear. Specs just glared at him.

"I hate football! I think it's boring and the most confusing sport ever!" Mush said to the group as they approached the ticket booth.

"You would," Blink joked.

"No, I'm serious! How do you get a first down? And also, why is it called football when they barely use their feet to move the ball?"

"They called it that to make idiots like you confused!"

"MEANIE!" Mush called out to Blink, as Specs and Dutchy broke into hysterical laughter. "It ain't my fault I don't know anything about sports."

"Oh yeah, that's right… You're big in, how do you say it?" Blink stopped, drew in a dramatic breath and said in a very bad British accent, "the _Theatre_!"

"Damn right! I'm proud to be a theatre geek," Mush said, oblivious to Blink's sarcasm.

"You just do theatre so you can ogle Bumlets's ass the whole time."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Both of you - SHUT UP!" Specs said, laughing. "Your constant bickering may be very funny, but it gets _really_ annoying, _really_ fast."

Mush stuck his tongue out at them as he stepped up to the booth to buy his ticket. Blink just rolled his eyes.

The four of them quickly bought their ticked and entered the stadium.

"Oh look! It's the football players, slapping each other's asses as they warm up… as usual," Dutchy pointed out.

"And they jeer at us for being gay… Hey, look at me! I'm a football player!" Specs screamed, and promptly slapped Dutchy's ass.

The friends laughed as on lookers stared and rolled their eyes – This was nothing out of the ordinary for the four of them.

The sounds of the school fight song; 'Anchors Aweigh' filled the air.

"BAND! Let's got say hi to Snitch and Skittery!" Mush cried out in excitement. He wanted to see their other friends who were in the band; Snitch was in guard, and Skittery played Tenor Sax.

"Down Mush. You know we aren't allowed to see them. Hughes will kill us!" Blink answered. Mush pouted, but followed the group up to the bleachers to find seats.

Kick off started, and you heard the band playing 'We Will Rock You,' a tradition for every kickoff.

"Oh my god… Look at Snitch dancing with the guard," Dutchy said, pointing toward the band section where Snitch and the rest of the guard was doing a dance to the song.

"God, he looks like a complete idiot!" Blink laughed at him.

"Well, that's him. What do you expect?" Dutchy said, and Blink laughed in response.

The game got rolling. Mush was trying ever so much to actually pay attention and understand what was happening. That of course didn't happen.

The Mariner offense threw a pass, which was caught. Mr. Rankin, the announcer, yelled over the speakers, "FIRST DOWN, MARINERS!"

Mush, being the way he is, thought Rankin had said 'touchdown, mariners.' So naturally, Mush jumped up, screaming, "YAY! Touchdown! YOU ROCK! Go North – OW!"

"Mush, it's _FIRST_ down. Not a touchdown, stupid. Anyway, they're only on the forty yard line," Blink said after hitting Mush on the arm to get him to stop.

Mush blushed. "I told you I know nothing about football!"

"You know who has a nice ass?"

The group turned to look at Specs's random outburst.

"You better say me, Specs," Dutchy warned, jokingly.

Specs grinned. "Why, of course you have a hot ass. But Number Eighty-Five has a gorgeous ass that looks so good in those tight pants!"

Blink laughed. "You know that is Morris's ass you're staring at." Referring to their most hated rival.

Specs's face paled. "EWW!"

"Yup. He's in my eighth period class and wore his jersey today."

"…SHUT UP!"

Soon, it was halftime. The stands started emptying out, but the four stayed put and screamed for the band as they entered the field.

"GO SNITCH! GO SKITTERY!" Mush screamed at the top of his lungs. From the field, Snitch and Skittery smiled a bit more after hearing their friends cheer for them.

The band started their field show – a show that featured rock songs from the 70s. The quartet of friends could easily pick out Snitch, for he was one of five guys on the rifle line, but it was a bit harder to find Skittery in the mass of band members.

"Here comes Snitch's solo." Blink pointed toward the Fifty-yard line, where Snitch performed his solo of quad and quint tosses. The group watched in awe, but cracked up on the last one when Snitch dropped his rifle on the toss.

Once the band was done, there was still about five minutes before Third Quarter started.

"When are the football players coming out again?" Specs whined. "I wanna watch their hot asses!"

Dutchy smirked. "You want a hot ass?" He got up, bent over, and stuck his ass right in Specs's face. "You got a hot ass – OW, that hurt!"

Specs laughed and pulled his hand away from pinching Dutchy's ass.

"Mushee- I want some candy."

"Yeah, me too. You guys want some?" Mush replied.

"CANDY!" Dutchy yelled and pulled Specs up, running down the bleachers. "CANDY!"

"…I'll take that as a yes." Blink said, laughing and followed.

"CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!"

"SHUT UP, DUTCHY!"

"NO! I won't!" Dutchy called over his shoulder, then began singing and dancing on the way down to the concession stand. "I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY!"

Of course this caused students to stare, but they didn't care. Again, this was the way they also acted – crazy.

Finally, they got to the front of the concessions line.

"What do you want?" A very bored-looking teacher asked.

"Skittles! No, make that Starburst! NO, M&Ms! No, something else!" Dutchy excited replied.

"Well, which one already?" the teacher pressed.

"Um... ALL THREE!"

"Oh god… Now he's gonna be extremely hyper," Specs said, shaking his head.

"Specs, when is he ever not hyper?"

"Good point."

They headed back after they all got their candy. Dutchy, obviously, got the most candy. By the time they got back to their seats, the game had already started again

"YAY! Asses are back!" Specs yelled, turning his attention to the line of football players on the sideline in front of him.

"Hey guys, look what I can do!' Dutchy called out. Mush and Blink turned toward Dutchy. (Specs was in his own world.)

"What?"

"This!" Dutchy pulled a Skittle out and threw it up in the air. He _tried_ to catch it with his mouth, but it bounced off his teeth and rolled onto the ground. "Damn. Lemme try again," He did. Same results. "Shit! I swear I can do it!"

"Whatever Dutch," Blink said sarcastically, and focused his attention back to the field, leaving Dutchy to himself. He looked like a complete idiot, and was accumulating a small pile of Skittles on the ground as well.

"I DID IT!" Dutchy announced about ten minutes later, startling Blink and Mush. "I got one in! And you guys missed it."

"Whoop-de-do!" Blink answered, rolling his eyes.

"Now you guys gotta watch me this time. Oh, DAMN! I'm outta Skittles!"

"That's too bad! Oh well!" Blink responded, trying hard to contain his laughter at Dutchy freaking out, but to no avail. He broke down and cracked up. Mush eventually caved in as well.

"HEY! What's so funny? Guys please," Dutchy whined, which only made the two of them laugh even harder. "FINE. I'm not talking to you anymore. You're MEAN." He sat down, folded his arms across his chest, and stuck his tongue out at them.

"ALRIGHT!" Mush yelled, slapping high five's with Blink.

"Hey, NOT FAIR."

"I thought you weren't talking to us."

"I'm not! Well, I mean, I am, but I'm… Oh you know what, fuck you both!" Dutchy said, cracking a smile on the last part.

"You know we love you Dutchy."

"AND THAT'S THE GAME! MARINERS WIN 64-7!" Rankin's voice boomed over the stadium.

"YAY! That means we can go home now," Mush shouted for joy.

"Oh, Dutchy? Ya might want to snap your boyfriend out of the 'ass fantasies' that he's having."

Dutchy smirked. "No problemo."

He tapped Specs on the shoulder, but, as expected, no response, just a blank stare. He grinned as he reached his hands around Specs's waist and tickled furiously. Specs immediately snapped out of it.

"AH! NO! Stop! Please, that tickles!" He cried, laughing and squirming in his seat to try to get Dutchy to stop.

"That's your punishmet for staring at guys asses that aren't my own!" Dutchy answered as he continued to tickle.

"Please STOP! Oh god, AHH!" Specs giggled more, then thought up an idea to get Dutchy to stop. He stopped squirming, grabbed Dutchy's head and pulled it toward his own, kissing him hard on the lips. Dutchy responded by stopping, and leaned more heavily into the kiss.

"Get a room!" Blink catcalled out.

"Come on, I wanna go home!" Mush whined.

Specs and Dutchy's only response was to flip them off. Mush groaned and impatiently waited for the lovebirds to quit makin' it in the stands.

They did stop soon enough, thanks to Blink's quick thinking, as he kicked Specs right in the ass.

"Bastard!"

"You know you love me. Now let's go home!"

When they go to Specs's car, Blink got an idea. He pushed Mush against the driver's seat door and called to Specs.

"Hey, now you gotta wait for us!" Blink shouted, and promptly started a make-out session with Mush, who groaned in protest at first, but warmed up to the kisses.

Specs and Dutchy just laughed. Dutchy walked over to the backseat door and opened it.

"You wanna go in? They'll be a while," Dutchy said, winking to Specs.

Specs grinned and winked back. "Of course!"

He climbed in after Dutchy and slammed the door.

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**A/N**: woo! I totally didn't plan on that ending, but it's cute!

To my loyal TJORH readers- I have writer's block on that. There will be an update eventually, but most likely not soon. (it may happen, but not likely) Sorry!

Well, it's that time again… REVIEW and make me happy!

**braids**


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